The Republican National Committee (RNC) announced today they will issue a new edition of their very popular Handbook of Rationalizations for Supporting Donald Trump.
The spokesperson for the RNC explained that the first edition was a huge success with the Republican base. However, he also said that “many Republicans outside the base have been complaining that it has become really hard for them to justify their support for Mr. Trump to their many friends and family members.” He also added: “Even many of my relatives are saying how they feel that their situation is so unfair compared with their Democratic friends, who have much easier time justifying their support for Hillary Clinton.”
The new edition of the Handbook contains all of the best rationalizations that made the first edition such a runaway hit, including classics like “He may be despicable, but he is still better than Clintons” and “We need him because he’s the only one who can fix our toughest problems” and “Donald Trump respects women and minorities a lot—it’s just a few bad individuals he has problems with”.
The new edition will also contain new classics that have become irresistible in recent months, including such rationalizations as:
- “We are not electing a Sunday school teacher”;
- “He’s salty but he gets things done”;
- “Everything he says about women or minorities or immigrants is just talk, locker room talk—he never does those things he talks about”;
- “He is the only one who can solve nation’s problems because he is the man of action –Hillary all her career just talked about things but got nothing done, but Donald Trump does all the things he speaks about.”
The Handbook will be boosted by an impressive national distribution. All of the eight Trump hotels will sell the Handbook at a small premium. People who don’t have an easy access to their nearest Trump hotel will also be able to buy it at their local KKK chapter bookstore, where it will be sold at a discount.