China Will Make Mexico Retroactively Pay for the Great Wall of China

Chinese leaders have been considering how to deal with Donald Trump’s provocations, including his phone call with Taiwanese president as well as his statement that he is not bound by One-China policy.

Our sources in China say that Chinese leaders thought it would best to show their toughness if they used Trump’s signature issues: the promise to build the wall on the Mexican border as well as his promise to make Mexico pay for it.

Today Chinese President Xi Jinping announced that his government will demand that Mexico retroactively pay for the construction of the Great Wall of China and also agree to cover all the future expenses arising from any necessary repairs to the wall.

President Xi Jinping thus presented his demand and reasoning behind it:

“To our citizens at home and our friends abroad, I am happy to announce today that our government will be demanding from Mexico that it retroactively pay the full cost of the construction of our Great Wall of China.

If Mexicans dare to ask why they have to pay for our Great Wall, we ask the following : Why Mexico is not exporting its best burritos to China!? Their export burritos don’t use fresh beans, their sauces are so unpleasing, and their meat is so unsavory, although I assume some of their export burritos are quite good. But there is no denying their guilt.

So I am happy to announce today that thanks to Mexican people who will willingly pay for it, we will make the Great Wall of China great again.”

(Image: Severin Stalder/Wikimedia Commons)