Trump’s Last-Minute Major Overhaul of New Administration

Sources say that just before the Inauguration Day, President-elect Donald Trump has decided he wants a radical overhaul and restructuring of the administration.

Our sources suggest that not only different people will be appointed to the cabinet positions, but entire departments will be abolished and others created in their place. The following are the ideal structural changes and best people for administration positions that the President-elect now has in mind:

  • Steve Bannon would remain as previously announced the Chief Strategist for the Welfare of White People and the Principal White House liaison to the Klan;
  • Jeff Sessions, the current pick for attorney general, would serve basically the same role in a new Justice Department which will be reformed and called Department for Racial Justice and Combating of the Reverse Racism;
  • Kellyann Conway would serve as secretary of the newly established Department of Peacetime Twitter Affairs;
  • Hulk Hogan would serve as the secretary of state. Our sources say the position was initially offered to Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, who would have been the first person in the history to hold simultaneously the position Secretary of State of the US and Foreign Minister of the Russian Federation; unfortunately, Lavrov turned down the offer saying that his workload in the Russian Foreign Ministry is already unmanageable;
  • Governor Chris Christie would head the new Department of Mexican Transportation and Logistics of Mexicans and Other Rapists;
  • Rudy Giuliani would hold a similar position he held during the presidential campaign as the Chief Conspiracy Advisor and will also serve as the Chief Advisor on the Law of War;
  • Sarah Palin and Alex Jones of Infowars would serve as co-directors of the CIA;
  • Newt Gingrich would serve as a secretary of a newly created Department for Women’s Welfare, which Donald Trump will establish to show his detractors that he truly respects women, and nobody, nobody respects women more than he does;
  • Ted Cruz would lead a new Department for Religious Tolerance;
  • The rapper Kanye West would hold a Cabinet position to serve as a first Special Secretary of the Nation’s Mental Health and Humility;
  • Vice-President Mike Pence would also serve as a special advisor on the Moral Defense of Broad Shouldered Leaders.

(Image: The White House via Wikimedia Commons)