White House Announces New Show ‘Pardoning Apprentice’

After the Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s pardoning received much critical acclaim among President Trump’s supporters, today Trump announced at a rally that he will be creating a new regular Friday segment called “The Pardoning Apprentice.”

“Folks, Sheriff Joe was so unfairly convicted merely because he practiced institutional racism against Latinos. So unfair, folks, so unfair.

After he was convicted, some people were wondering if this administration will protect great institutional racists who were making our country great again. And we came through.

My first pardon was a huge success. Some people are already saying I have the best pardoning of any previous president.

If I had found out how nicely my pardoning works earlier, I would have pardoned Trump University, which was so unfairly treated in the fake courts.

Based on the huge success of my first pardon, I have decided to make a new, regular Friday nights segment in the White House. We will have some of the greatest institutional racists and other fine people who were unfairly treated in the courts. They will be all competing for my pardons.

There will be so much winning pardoning, you will be saying ‘we are already tired of pardoning, please Mr. President, no more pardoning.’

Later we might create some spin-off shows; I was thinking about ‘Derail the Justice’ or ‘Lock Up Your Opponent’ – both will be huge.”

(Image: Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons)